Dear John,

I don't know how to say this, but I'm joining a monastery and our romance is over.
I realized it when we were skinny dipping with Chuck Norris, and I saw you sit on my cat.
I'm sure you're masochistic enough to understand that the garbage-man turns me on.
I'm sending back the pillows, but keeping your collection of butterflies as a memory.
You should know that I have never laughed in public about our friendship.

Say good-bye to your creepy family for me,
Sarah.


Dear- your partners name- (if you're single, write John)

I don't know how to say this, but __1__.
I think I realized it __2__ __3__, and I saw you __4__ __5__.

I'm sure you're __6__ enough to understand __7__.

I'm sending back __8__, but I'm keeping __9__ as a memory.

You should know that I __10__ __11__.

__12__ /-your name-


1.THE COLOR OF YOUR SHIRT:
blue- our romance is over
red- our affair is at an end
white- I'm joining a monastery
black- I hate you
green- our horoscopes don't match
gray- You're a perv
yellow- I'm on the streets
pink- Your nostrils are an insult
brown- the mafia is after you
no shirt- You're a loser
other- I'm in love with your sister

2. WHAT MONTH WERE YOU BORN IN?
January- that night
February- last year
March- when we were skinny dipping
April- when I was high on sesame seed
May- when I was shaving your legs
June- when you put handcuffs on me
July- when I threw up
August- When I saw the tiny head
September- when your dwarf bit me
October- When I was taking a walk
November- When I tied my shoes
December- When your dog went crazy

3. FAV FOOD?
tacos- in your house
pizza- in your van
pasta - in London
hamburger- Under the bus
salad- while you were eating enchiladas
chicken- with Chuck Norris
kebab- in your closet
fish- in woman-clothes
sandwich- at the mental hospital
hot dogs- in trans
other- with Mr. and Mrs. Bush

4. WHATS THE COLOR OF YOUR SOCKS?
yellow- hitting on
red- insulting
black- ignoring
blue- punching
purple- pour syrup on
white- carve your name in
gray- tear the clothes of
brown- put leeches on
pink- steal the toupee from
no socks- sit on
other- chasing out

5. WHAT'S THE COLOR OF YOUR UNDERWEAR?
black – my best friend
White- my father
gray- John Travolta
Brown- my whoopee cushion
purple- my pie
red- the Cookie Monster
blue- my aloe vera plant
Yellow- my pen-pal from Ghana
Orange – my Carl Larson-collection (whoever that is D8)
pink – my cat
no underwear – my Cartman-statue
Other- The crazy monk

6. WHAT DO YOU WATCH ON TV?
Scrubs - man
O.C. - sensitive
One Tree Hill - open
Heroes - ashamed
Lost - turned on
House - cowardly
Simpsons - scarred
the news - Mongolian
American Idol – masochistic
Family Guy - senile
other - frost-bitten

7.WHAT MOOD ARE YOU IN RIGHT NOW?
happy- how bad I've been feeling
sad- How boring you are
bored- that your Honda sucks
angry- that all your pimples are in the last stadium
Depressed- That I have changed sex
exited- that there's no solution to
nervous- the Middle east
Worried- that we're cousins
apathetic- that Santa doensn't exist
Ashamed- that I'm allergic to your hamster
Hugable- that the garbage-man turns me on
exceedingly happy- that I'm a clone
other- "Deal or no deal" sucks

8. THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDROOM-WALLPAPER?
white- your ring
yellow- your love letters
red- your Darth Vader-poster
black- your pet rock
blue- the pillows
green- the pictures of Portugal
orange- your artificial teeth
brown- your cellphone
gray- our matching snoopy-bibs
pink- the old toe-nails
other- your military service-memory-box

9. THE FIRST LETTER IN YOUR NAME?
A/B - Your picture
C/D - the oil-stock shares
E/F - My virginity
G/H - your neighbor Carl
I/J - The blood-test results
K/L- your left ear
M/N - Your suicide-note
O/P - my sense
Q/R - your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V/W - your crime records
X/Y/Z- your high school grades

10. LAST LETTER OF YOUR LAST NAME?
A/B – shall always remember
C/D – never will forget
E/F – Always will try to forget
G/H – will inform The Swedish Tax Agency(uh yeah..XD)
I/J – have always felt dirty because of
K/L – have never laughed in public about
M/N – am making a movie about
O/P – throw rocks at
Q/R – informed the psychiatrist about
S/T – get sick when I think about
U/V/W – told the news paper about
X/Y/Z – never liked

11. FAV DRINK?
water- our friendship
beer - pensioner
soda- a new life as a clone
milk- Eskimos
wine- cocaine addiction
cider- a passionated interest for mice
Juice- woody alien-imitations
lemonade- your embarrassing rashes
whiskey - destroying the 2nd world war
other- hating Shrek

12. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION?
Thailand - Best wishes
Sweden- Love
England- With pain
Spain- Go f*ck yourself
China- gross wishes
Germany- With relief
Japan- Go to Hell
Greece - Your eternal enemy
Australia- Say goodbye to your pet frog Leonard from me
Egypt- Go now
France- Good luck
Other- Say goodbye to your creepy family for me.

-&-

RICH BITCH
[ ] You go/have gone tanning.
[x] You own an iPod/mp3 player.
[x] You love Starbucks.
[x] You have been called a brat.
[ ] You have tons of shoes.
[ ] You hate buying things that are on sale.
[ ] You have/had a laptop
[x] You love shopping.
TOTAL: 4

GOTHIC
[x] Black is one of your favorite colors.
[ ] You wear chains.
[ ] You like heavy metal.
[x] You've shopped at hot topic.
[ ] You have worn black lipstick.
[x] You have/had/or wanted piercings.
[ ] You own a pair of Tripp pants
[x] You have at least one unnaturally colored haired friend.
TOTAL: 4

PUNK
[ ] You can skateboard
[ ] You like plaid.
[ ] You have Converse.
[x] You hate MTV.
[x] You have/had/want *blue*, pink, red, purple, or green hair.
[ ] You love mohawks
[x] You LOVE Music.
[x] Hate people who pretend to be something they are not.
TOTAL: 4

EMO
[x] You are sad sometimes.
[x] You have dark colored glasses.
[ ] You cry easily.
[ ] You like emo music
[x] You've kept a journal/diary
[ ] You have written a sad poem.
[ ] You have dyed your hair.
[ ] You're sad when you're drunk
TOTAL: 3

GHETTO
[ ] You like rap.
[x] have said "Fo Sho, Fo Shizzle, Fo Sheezy, etc.
[ ] You have worn/wanted a grill.
[ ] You have had a freestyling contest.
[x] You have worn your shoes with the tongue flipped out.
[ ] you know most of the lines from Boyz N Da Hood
[ ] You own a huge gold chain with a giant gold pendant
TOTAL: 2

HARDCORE
[x] You like loud music
[ ] You love/like the Ninja Turtles.
[x] You have slip-on shoes.
[ ] You like Norma Jean.
[ ] People have called you a freak and meant it lovingly
[ ] You love to "hardcore" dance
[ ] Your hair has been dyed more than one color.
[x] You wear jeans a lot.
TOTAL: 3

PREP
[ ] You LOVE The OC.
[ ] You had/have/want a tiny/small sized dog.
[ ] Your usual outfits consist of pink.
[ ] You like buying shoes A LOT.
[ ] You have clothes from Hollister, AE and/or Abercrombie (I hate those stores!)
[x] Getting your nails done is a fun thing.
[x] You have/had big sunglasses.
[ ] You can't go anywhere without your hair perfect.
TOTAL: 2

ATHLETIC
[ ] You watch/watched the Superbowl
[x] You own track shoes or cleats other sports related shoes.
[ ] You collect jerseys.
[ ] You have/had a special shelf for trophies and awards.
[ ] Your garage/shed consists of sports equipment.
[x] You belong/belonged to a team.
[ ] You have a specific number preferred for your jersey.
TOTAL: 2

SCENE
[x] You like putting little bows in your hair
[ ] You have mini-skirts
[x] You have parted your hair to the side. (in grade school XD)
[x] You think polka-dots are way cute.
[x] You have done a peace sign while you pose for a picture.
[x] You've been called scene before.
[x] You wear/wore long, colorful socks
TOTAL: 6

REDNECK
[x] Gone four wheeling.
[ ] Went hunting.
[ ] Owned a four/three-wheeler or dirt bike...ect.
[ ] Like to go fishing.
[x] Eat beef jerky
[ ] Ever said GIT-R-DONE.
[ ] Have/had a screen door with no screen
[x] say Ya'll and Aint alot
TOTAL: 3

METALHEAD
[x] You wear band shirts alot.
[ ] If people down talk metal you down talk their favorite music.
[ ] You like bands like As I Lay Dying, Lamb Of God, and All That Remains.
[ ] You HATE emos.
[ ] You like Black Sabbath.
[ ] You have gone to Ozzfest.
Total: 1

Apparently I'm scene? Dx
And a running up Punk/Gothic/Rich Bitch
lmao.